ARE YOU READY??
First there was the story of the sweet ole' Grandma that was fooled by a big bad wolf member that disguised his voice to sound like that of her cute little granddaughter in order to force entry. Then, the case of "The Three Little Pigs" where almost everything was lost to one windy BBW member. Also, if you remember the report on CNN, which issued a warning on a sheep herder that almost lost his entire flock to one disgusting crossed-dressing BBW member.
I SAY NO MORE...
First, we have to familiarize ourselves with their tactics:
- They have used sheep's clothing gain access to certain groups.
- They are masters at disguising their voices and appearances.
- They have extremely large lung capacity.
- The have been known to have access to massive supplies of ACME goods and weapons supplied by the W.E. Coyote Extremist group.
- These furry Ninjas are master stalkers.
- They are able to shape shift into young Hollywood types.
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Now that we have a better understanding of the skills and tactics that these BBW members are equipped with, we can proceed to perfect our defenses. Following are recommended courses of action:
- Always live next to some sort of woodsman that will have accesses to an AXE.
- Always build your homes out of brick. Wood details are OK for trim only.
- Always check ID when someone knocks at the door.
- Befriend all talking rabbits and very fast birds with a limited vocabulary of just "BEEP BEEP". They seem to have an advanced knowledge of defense against ACME weapons.
- Keep a stereo looped with Paula Adbul's song "Opposites Attract". History has shown that BBW members cannot stop dancing to it. This precaution should give you plenty of time to escape...or to shoot yourself because you had to listen to that song over and over and over....
- Have lots of vampire friends. This should be easy since plenty of them have come 'out' of the closet due to the fact that it's trendy to be a vampire right now.
- Before informing authorities of any BBW attack, make sure it is true as you have limited amounts of reports. In legal terms, this is called 'Crying Wolf'.
- Keep at least 1 silver bullet or silver pointy object close, even though the price of silver prices is on a rise, this is a MUST!
Just remember...a life of crime is not worth it!